On Learning

I place a very high value on learning, and I pretty much always have.  Since I've been out of school, I've thought of graduate programs or individual classes I'd be interested in or benefit from.  I've listened to science, economics, and business podcasts, and read all kinds of books on similar topics.  At one point when I was consistently over-stressed, Gabb told me to start reading a fiction book every other turn.  I think it helped, but I was also still so hungry for knowledge and meaningful advice that I just ended up reading multiple books at a time. 

The difficult thing for me is finding an area I want to dive deep into, something that I can turn into a job or business.  I generally think of myself as multi-talented and flexible, but it isn't clear to me what kind of career path that really sends me down.  So I suppose, until I find something specific I really love, I can just keep learning as much as possible.  There is value in having capacity to learn.

Black Hills and Devil's Tower

Sioux Falls, and the Great Plains in general, are boring.  No terrain, no forests, no incredible features.  So last weekend, we went west again to find things worth seeing and experiencing.

Jewel Cave National Monument was our first stop, with over 190 miles of explored passages.  It's the 3rd largest cave system in the world after Mammoth Cave and a cave in Mexico.  I'm quite sure at this point that I totally love caves, so next time I explore I'll need to do some spelunking.  Most of what we saw in Jewel Cave looked like someone had pinned millions of balloons everywhere and then sprayed 6 inches of plaster.  It also had cave bacon - a 20 foot strip of dripping minerals that looked just like bacon - and flowstone, which looked like Cthulu and minions were pushing their faces through the stone walls.

From there we went to Devil's Tower in Wyoming.  That site is just weird and unique.  It is a singular formation rising up out of the earth with well-defined columns that are 5-20 feet wide.  It stands wide and tall, apparently the top is roughly the size of a football field.  And climbers love it.  There were dozens of climbers on all sides of the tower.  We took the trail around it to stare in amazement from every angle.  Then on to Spearfish to visit Caitlin at Crow Peak brewery and grab supper (poutine...mmm).

Sunday we drove a couple hours down to the Mammoth Site, with Montana's wild fires covering the entire area with increasingly thick smoke.  This forced us to bail on any kind of outdoor activities, and also made the landscape rather oppressive.  At Mammoth Site there were known remains of 60+ mammoths that had slipped into an ancient sinkhole, never to escape.  Plus, remains of the extinct short-faced bear.  It was gigantic, apparently, larger than any modern bear.  They had a fake tree trunk with claw marks showing how high different bears can reach.  I did not realize how small grizzly bears are compared to polar bears.

We ended the night at Prairie Berry Winery and Miner's Brewery.  They have a really nice campus, and apparently I really like black currents.

Black Hills and Badlands

This weekend I had a mini-vacation seeing the sights in the Black Hills and Badlands areas.  The main attraction was Wind Cave National Park, which I had never visited before.  It is one of the longest cave systems at around 145 miles, and is still being explored.  It is pretty unique for a structure that can be found there called boxwork.  Mineral deposits left in cracks became all that remained when the soft limestone was washed away.  So boxwork is basically just the cracks of ancient stone.  It was my first time beyond the entrance of a cave, and I loved it.  I find myself more and more entranced by things that are unique, fleeting, or incredibly detailed.

In spite of the possibility of a tourist trap, we stopped by Reptile Gardens.  I'm glad we did.  It was basically a small zoo focused on reptiles, with some birds and prairie dogs on the side.  I never knew how many different kinds of crocodiles and alligators there are, or how much they vary in size.  I was also thrilled to see so many kinds of snakes, including a massive anaconda and 2 gigantic Burmese pythons.  My absolute favorite in the park was Tank the giant tortoise.  He and I became quick buds.

We passed through Badlands National Park on our way back, and glad we did.  We found Yucca and Prickly Pear cactus and learned they are native in South Dakota.  We also did the Notch trail, and it made us realize just how beautiful Badlands is.

So all in all, I belive I have gone to 17 national parks now, and Gabb has gone to 19.

• Wind Cave
• Badlands
• Rocky Mountain
• Capitol Reef
• Canyonlands
• Arches
• Redwood
• Lassen Volcanic
• Yosemite
• Sequoia
• Joshua Tree
• Death Valley
• Zion
• Bryce Canyon
• Rainier
• Olympic
• Cuyahoga

On the limitations of my current lifestyle

Lately, I have been frustrated with my life.  My job, my hobbies, my cats, my house... My reaction to this frustration has been a desire to just pick up and go somewhere else.  But I have to wonder if that will improve anything, or if I'll end up in the same situation, but somewhere else and with fewer friends and family. 

Moving would allow both Gabb and me to explore different career options.  It would also give us a chance to live somewhere we know will have interesting activities or geography.  However, it wouldn't change the fact that we have two cats, full time jobs with around three weeks vacation, and a 40 hour workweek.  It would also result in another housing commitment, though we could rent or buy as wanted. 

The limitation of all this, of course, is that almost all fun and entertainment that lasts more than a day or two requires planning and notice.  And it can only last as long as I don't run out of vacation time.  So how can I maximize the benefits and minimize the limitations?

On Home Improvement

This afternoon, we finished our fire pit.  We started last summer and had everything in place by winter except for the fire ring itself.  The weather has been nice for some time, but today, I started assembling the metal ring and ended up assembling everything that was left.  It was a big win, which is great, because we have so many other open projects. 

I told Emily today about how I still need to insulate the garage, and she replied that she heard insulation was easy to do.  "It is," I said.  "So why don't you just do it?"  I made a pained expression as I answered "Because I have 50 other easy things to do, and it's so hard!" 

With home improvement, it is especially easy to put things off because it's almost never something you've gotten good at.  On the other hand, it's also almost never something that's critical to get done right.  So the best thing to do is pick something and get started.  Before long, there will be another box checked in the to-do list.

On my state of mind

Right now, I want to sleep.  I want to eat.  I want to buy things.  I want to read books.  I want to leave, to drop my commitments and go see something.  At least for a while.  None of these are productive, none accomplishing anything meaningful or lasting. 

There are things I could do, things I know I should do.  Fire pit, pruning, cleaning, shelving, insulating, painting.  But I also feel that this is my weekend, my time to do as I please, to relax, do something fun, interesting, or worthwhile.  The problem is that will never get any of those to-do's off the list, and weekend after weekend I will spend my time thinking about how I want to spend my time, rather than clearing that list and truly preparing for what I want to do.  Of course, a number of things are recurring to-do's, so they will always come back.  Can I make them smaller each time?  Or alter my lifestyle or environment to remove recurring needs for good?  I have to start if I am to go.

On Structure

At some point, I started telling my bosses I work best with structure.  It felt like I was admitting a weakness, that I couldn't operate without rules or guidance.  But today I think that structure is inherently necessary.  More than that, it's necessary to deliberately plan and build that structure. 

Much as a clematis benefits from a trellis, people benefit from rules, routines, and norms.  Even those that push boundaries need the boundaries themselves, or what would they be pushing?  Take away the intentionally placed trellis, and a vining plant simply spreads, until it finally reaches some kind of structure, which could be completely undesirable. 

So rather than feeling bad that I require structure, I need to embrace and define that requirement, to ensure I grow in the right direction and grab on to the correct supports.  Others will not only acknowledge my need, they'll thank me and put in that trellis.

On Excitement

It's raining today!  It started toward the end of our hike, enough to feel it, see it, and hear it, but not enough to get soaked, get sucked into the mud, or be uncomfortable for the ride home.  And it excited me!  It started as a burst of irrational, almost primitive, happiness, and then evened out into a deep pleasure and a sense of contentment. 

To some extent, this was a model experience of excitement, which is strange to think about.  At first, it would seem like the ideal would be to be as excited as possible for as long as possible, but think about the last vacation you had to wait months for.  Extended excitement becomes excruciating, and if the vacation doesn't lead to happiness, pleasure, and contentment, then the excitement is forgotten, and the high expectations can actually lead to a worse experience. 

So rather than try to find exciting things, I'll try to find things that provide a pop of excitement that evens out into happiness and contentment.

On Getting Stuck

I am stuck.  Quite often, actually.  For me, getting stuck is most often a problem when trying to generate an idea or when writing a paper.  I don't break loose until the deadline is imminent or until I find a way to separate the process from the end result.  When writing a paper, that generally means writing out pieces in pencil, or saving a separate "Work In Progress" Word document. 

I don't know if this is a common problem, but for me I think it revolves around the fact that I never truly learned the process of iterative improvement.  I generally worked on one draft, and when that was finished, I was done.  I missed learning the skill of quickly getting an idea generated, then getting feedback, then quickly getting an outline generated, then getting feedback, then quickly getting a draft generated... feedback, 2nd draft, feedback, 3rd draft, and so on.  "A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked."*  Trying to go straight to the complex system results in getting stuck.


*Known as Gall's Law, from John Gall's book Systemantics

On Wilderness

I most certainly could not survive on my own in the deep wilderness without a great deal of luck.  But one of the things I enjoy most is getting out away from cities, away from human activity, where the only sign of humanity is the trail I'm following.  I can hike for hours and hours, or just sit to look at and listen to nature.  So long as I have a safety tether tying me back to the modern world, it thrills me to wander away into mountains, forests, deserts, and ocean beaches. 

I've been to 16 national parks, 14 of which were in the past 2 years.  And all I can think is "why did it take so long?"  Looking back at photos is both wonderful and painful, as I look up from the photos to see the flat brown South Dakota fields.  In summer, all the greenery is corn and beans.  There's no question I'll continue to visit national parks, forests, and monuments.  The only question is how will I balance that with travel around the world?

On Dreams...

Dreams being the lofty goals or perfect scenarios that could come to pass, if only the perfect sequence of events would happen, or working hard and being bold would pay off, or a lottery ticket would produce an overnight fortune.  A person's dreams speak volumes about their personality and passions.  They represent the ideal situation, the life that could be had if everything turned out perfect. 

I don't believe for one second that anyone encountering their dream scenario would actually act the way the expect, though. It's like looking at the tall tower of a castle from far away thinking it must be amazing to be up there.  But from that tower, the view is entirely different.  It could be better than expected, or worse, but always different.  And that's the reason it's so insightful.  We dream of our expectations of the perfect world, of the things we think would matter to us most if all difficulties melted away, of what we could do with unlimited resources.  It's who we really (think we) are.

On Photography

Of course I enjoy reminiscing over personal photos, and of course I am amazed at the scenes captured by professional photographers.  But for me, it never felt particularly valuable to take photos.  On one hand, I lacked the knowledge and experience required to take quality photos.  This was a deficiency of both technical skill and artistic vision.  On the other hand, I felt that taking photos detracted from the moment, that my experiences turned into documentation, that I couldn't fully enjoy my environment or the people around me when I was focused on when and where to take the next picture. 

After taking beginner's photography classes, I am far more interested in taking the photos.  I didn't learn anything I couldn't have found online, which serves as both a reminder that information is easily accessible to those that look and a lesson that accessible information goes unnoticed until you get out and do something that brings it to life.